Setbacks happen. Time flies and gets away from us and before you know it you feel as though you've completely ruined any progress or momentum that you had. In my experience before my journey started in January 2016, it created a sense of failure.
We all experience setbacks or pauses in our lives. For me, it comes in my health and fitness, chores, or relationships. In the past, I would really get in an emotional rut and be really bummed and in a bad mood for long periods of time. I would get irritated with my disaster of a house and feel like I would never get ahead of the game. I would feel like a failure and give up. It's always easier said than done, but over the course of the journey I have developed a routine to get out of the rut and continue in the progress and get my momentum back. Here are 5 steps to handling a setback. 1. Give yourself grace. The first step is acknowledging the setback and knowing that we are all human. Time truly does fly and before you know it, the train falls off the tracks. It. Is. OK! Give yourself some grace and forgive yourself. You aren't perfect. You aren't supposed to be perfect. What you are supposed to be is in a mindset that allows you to stay positive and self loving and move on. As I've gone through these last 8 months I have slowly learned to allow grace instead of striving for perfection. God gives us grace every day for anything and everything we need. We are enough to Him and I'm learning that that is enough for me. When I don't allow myself grace for my imperfection my soul hurts. My mindset is tarnished and if I allow myself to stay there long enough, the minor setback becomes a major one and that becomes a full on quitting scenario. I don't have time for that. I don't want my son to see that negativity that could instead see grace and move on and live in the moment instead of the past. Live in this moment. And my grandma always tells me that there is no sense on being mad because it wastes time. I don't want to waste away moments by being upset with myself. Overcome the setback and know that you are human and its ok. 2. Ask for help Especially when it comes to thinking I can be everything and do everything that my family and team members need, I realize that I need help. Everyone needs help. It takes a village to ..... well have community. It's much easier to do things together than try to do everything alone. I am trying to get into the habit of asking my husband for help before the extreme irritation hits. By getting into the habit of asking for help before the crap hits the fan gives us both a chance to plan ahead for the chores that need to happen as well as communicate better. Again, easier said than done, but getting into that habit will allow the momentum to set in instead of irritation and the sense of drowning in mountains of laundry. I am also getting into the habit of asking him where he needs help. 3. Don't wait for Monday Don't wait for Monday. For tomorrow. For the beginning of the month. Don't wait! Just hop on the train right where you are at and get back on track. Procrastination can really keep you down and prevent you from getting out of the setback but rather drags you down further into it. This was my struggle for several years. Combined with other excuses, procrastination is the worst culprit of turning a minor setback into a full on quit. Every single time I waited for the next 'perfect' day I would create another excuse on why that day wasn't the day either. Now after I have my 5 minute pity party I snap out of it, give the grace, ask for help where I need it, and then not wait another second to find my bearings and get back to it.. Don't wait another second to get your momentum back and continue to reach your goals. 4. Make your plan Once you've decided to get back to it you gotta get back to your plan. If you need a new plan, make one! Decide how you are going to get back to achieving your goals. Nutrition: Write down your meal plan for the day and following week. Even though I love the ease of the Notes on my phone, pen and paper really help me visualize my plan for my meals. If I am tired of a certain meal and I need a new one to replace it, I go to Pinterest to find something to go into my mix. Jazz it up! With that also comes your meal prep list too. Get that grocery list made and know exactly what you need when you get there and avoid the extras that tempt you in the isles. Fitness: If you aren't on a calendar schedule with a workout program, you need to write down your plan for your workouts. I love the workout programs that Beachbody provides because there is a calendar that does it for me. I don't have to avoid workouts that I don't like and overtrain on other areas. It's all balanced and there to follow. Now I really mean specifically setbacks regarding health and fitness. But chores and relationships are important to me too and I have to take that into account if I feel like I'm in a rut. When you have that gut check on why you feel down, take several angles of your daily life into account to really optimize getting out of the rut. Chores: Again, that pen and paper. Writing a to do list of all the chores that need to be done. The list will be long and overwhelming. And that's ok. Next, prioritize the chores that need done first. For me that's always dishes and sweeping.all the Puffs and Cheerios. Next is laundry. After that I look for opportunities to clean Sam's room, the kitchen counters/table, and other items that I have time for. Set the 3 most important things, then have two to do if there is time. Rotate as needed. Relationships: I am really working on focusing on my relationships with Dominic and friends. I can't afford to put them on the back burner and have one moment that they feel taken for granted. I know that I am super busy running around and with so many things on my mind. It sounds silly but I also make a to do list to communicate with friends on a regular basis. Even though it's scheduled on my to do list, it's a genuine communication. Dominic and I do this too now every evening. Instead of dinking on our phones all night until it's time for bed, we generally have at least one hour that we sit together on the couch unplugged. No phones for at least an hour, sometimes more. We also unplug when we play with Sam in the evenings. Committing to this time for us has become really nice to sit together and enjoy each other's company. 5. Go public for accountability After you make a plan, specifically with your nutrition and fitness, go public. Make it known for accountability. Let people know what's going on! The best decision I made as I committed to this journey is to become a coach. The accountability and sense of commitment to the tribe has really kept me from letting any setbacks become bigger than necessary. I also set goals and accountability with my groups and friends on my goals and how I am going to reach them. And you know what? They ASK me how it's going. They check in on me. When I know that I will be checked, I end up sticking to it. So tell your friends, heck ask them to join you and buddy up! Whatever works for you to hold yourself accountable, go public with it! I love pen and paper but I am starting to love the gmail calendar app as well to start organizing and scheduling my to dos. I'll keep you posted on that. Now get that pen and paper out and make your plan!
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September 2017
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